buuuuuuu

YAY 30th post!!!!! Seems like no none reads my blog which is a plus point since i don't really like people seeing what i feel but i have no space to vent my feelings. Time check 3:56PM and i hadn't even started on my work feeling like a pretty little champion c: AND ONCE AGAIN, I DIDNT BRING MY ELIT BOOK HOME FOR MY GRADED ASSIGNMENT. Literally praying i can find the ebook version or i seriously don't need to do already. And last week i left my chem file in school while i had test the next week double yay :))) Ughs.
Anyways thats not the main point why I'm blogging, the main point i am is i realised how as god bless me with more of him, the lousier the other aspects of my life become. For example, god blessed me with so much of him (inserts content that can't be told) that i did pretty badly for some stuffs and even forgot to bring stuffs home. Too much of him that it's giving me mixed signals again since I'm in the process of turning him from a friend > crush. But it's going forward then back then forward then back. Sighpie. Sometimes i really wished i could see what he was thinking so that i can just be straightforward with him and tell him "I like you." At least i don't have to feel the embarrassment ha ha ha ha aha.................... ANYWAY busy busy busy week.
On the other hand, i really appreciate god for making me meet a friend like B. He's a friend that i can be with alone and not be awkward and we were literally laughing so badly I'm having a sore throat right now. We can talk about super procavative and disgusting stuffs but just laugh it off. I can laugh at myself when I'm with him and not feel embarrassed at what I'm doing. Meh hope that our friendship can last a looooonggggggg time. I love shelly also can't wait for the coming saturday to hang out together.
Tired belly its time to get ma head cracking. See you c:

Ouch

Literally 10:23PM and I'm gonna print my research plan, continue on with my social studies assignment, then copy it into paper and pen. And finally start on my CID EOM. I don't think i'm gonna sleep like seriously theres so much things to do. HAHA but i feel so happy and blessed idky. Firstly, big thank you and hug to my CID partner who didn't go mia on me and came up with the solutions, fret with me, and did the research plan together. Hopefully our research plan pass through and make it pass the teacher's head. But he was really cooperative and supporting i can't express how thankful i am :). Secondly is my group of friends who i had dinner with just now before coming home. Thank you so much for bringing so much laughter to my night especially A & B. Talking and slowly eating our food was the best, laughing till B said we had abs. Ahhhhs good times with friends. I don't deserve this much blessing sometimes. And then to some (censored) people too for i don't know why heeee. For now, I'm feeling so light-hearted and happy I can jump. So much things to do but surrounded with love and support, I'm going to get it through well and tough! Thank you god for making my these long dreading day into something fun :) Going on a hike tomorrow too and agh so many people aren't going it's actually meh :( was hoping for the whole class to go together but meh meh meh.

P.S. I realised my world which revolved around you remained 24/7 darkness till i stepped out of my bubble.

:)

A cat barks.

Sucks when you put in so much effort just to screw up the entire thing in the end. For example, my chemistry paper. I tried and studied so hard but still made so much and many silly mistakes. I hate the feeling of working so hard for something yet i do not get back the same amount. Newton 3rd law. Every action has a reaction. Sighpie. Screams CID too. Worked so hard for it and the marks were thrown in my face. What's the use to be honest. :( And i had to act strong and cheerful infront of my classmates and friends as i knew i shouldnt be a burden and complain to them how i felt. I felt really lousy and stuffs. I want to scream and throw stuffs, run to school, take my paper, tear it and jump into the black hole. Sounds legit. But still i feel so disappointed in myself. I hate receiving sorry or comforting looks from people because I hate to be weak in other people's eyes. So, I smiled, laughed and tried to liven up the mood. But instead deep down inside i know I'm slowly tearing apart. I don't want to be a disappoint to my parent because even thouh they tell me that it's okay sweetheart, i knew they wanted me to be world's champion. Bed of roses. And someone had to add vinegar over my wound by telling me to suicide if I'm sad. Yay thanks! Thank you and all hail to you the king! Lol. Wednesday, I became the insensitive me again, that one monster i was all along!!!! And became angsty when my friend (sorry;() was slightly slow. Angsty!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh I'm gonna apologise to 2 people tomorrow ;-;. Bottom of the world. Boohoo to me.

You prick of frick!!!! <- legit title btw :^)

If you can't respect other people's preference of certain things, how they decide to treat their body, the genre of the music they listen to, you probably should take a lesson or two to improve your social awareness skills. Seriously?? Everyone is entitled to their own choice of things they enjoy and when you told me in the face that the genre of music i listen to is mainstream or boring, wow am i pissed. Uhmz double reality check on you. Please really learn how to respect other's preference. If i decided to do something, it's my choice but not yours to criticise and laugh at how childish or inapproriate it is. Looks like rule 6 is working out real well because for once I'm actually really unhappy about the things you said. Throws in a two or thing about you being insensitive.

High high high

Mehs hehe finally unprivated this shit but i dont think anyone still sees this yeh??? So much things i want to do when i grow up and by then i mean 18. I want to try weed, smoke that damn pot for once to really know what it's like. I want to go skinny dipping in a lake in America and jump down a cliff into the ocean in Greece. I want to get a tattoo at my spine which is of utmost important to me. I want to try so much things so i have to work really hard now so i can enjoy it in the future. The list is endless. Not trying to ruin my own life but meh i want to taste the world!!!!!

ooh

Another short post because i realise people actually read my blog which really creeps me out. My blog seems super sadistic because i only blog and write when I'm feeling really down and need to pen it down somewhere. So it's all about my feelings when I'm sad so the content doesn't sound exactly me BUT WHATEVER JSSHFHFHKFH. Maybe i will private it someday or something heheheheh

jdbjqjdbq

I think nowadays the title has no relation in what i want to say because the title is seriously irrelevant hahaha. Sometimes we're all wearing a mask and hiding behind, it's like i can't understand what you're thinking and what you think of me. And because of that, i feel scared, really scared. Because i know you may be criticising every single word i say. Furthermore, you're my friend and it's really important for me to know what you feel about me. Alas! But it's okay! I have decided to lead a positive and optimistic life and hopefully i manage to do it. If people don't like me theres nothing i can do except to accept and move on with life. Not everyone is gonna like me for who i am and i can't please all of them because that will be an even longer queue than during the GSS sales.

On the other hand, i have something to mention. Isn't it an irony how when i haven't stirred anything up or be involved in anything, yet i can be talked about? LOLOLOL like seriously brother. Not even pissed but amused hahahahhaha. Funny little world we're in.