sadgurl98

Always such a liar when i said i wanted to go on a social hiatus but never made it out alive. Really had to get a bunch of things of my chest and since i don't want to burden anyone all i can do is to blog about it. I knew i was never of utmost important to you, not to even say maybe the top 10 in your list of friends. Of course i feel annoyed too when i ask you questions because i don't want to feel clingy and make you feel annoyed as i already am.  And after the questions, i whole expect you to just be "ok" or "ya"  but you reply me with even more questions and look like you even try to make the conversation continue. Here comes the tough part. When i try to make the conversation continue, i don't see you making the effort and then lastly,  you left me hanging and don't reply ever. You know that kind of feeling whereby you eat this ball of food and then it gets stucked in your throat but it doesn't go down? Yeah i feel like that, always with you. You left me thinking what i did or said wrongly. Maybe one of the things about me is that i hate ending conversations, makes me feel alone and lonely. Actually everything makes me feel alone and lonely. Especially being surrounded by so many people but have no one to tell things u really want to say. Nowadays i'm learning how to push away peoole so that i won't have to get hurt and sad. That comes with the cost of me not being happy and being lonely. Doesn't matter because no one genuinely cares. All they wanted to know was who was it? What happened? Ands kkeuk it ends. People leave for others even better. Leave for a better girl, a better friend. Knew i wasn't the best but a girl can hope cant she? Now i even lost my hope.